


Snowfeather

by Aethelflaed



Series: BT Tower Telephone Group A [9]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angry Swan, Animals, Animals Don't Like Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley can take care of himself, Do-It-With-Style Event, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gay Swans, Guardian Angel Aziraphale (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Just not that protective of Crowley, Kind Aziraphale (Good Omens), M/M, No Animals Harmed, POV Outsider, Prompt Fic, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), St James's Park (Good Omens), Though they might be a little frightened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26668126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aethelflaed/pseuds/Aethelflaed
Summary: Snowfeather the swan stands guard over the thing he cares for most and no one - no one - shall approach! Not even the two not-quite-human beings who frequently visit St James's Park.Or, the one where Crowley gets into a fight with a swan.--Written for the Do It With Style Telephone Event.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: BT Tower Telephone Group A [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937791
Comments: 12
Kudos: 107





	Snowfeather

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Ice Cream and Sunshine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26649784) by [kerkusa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kerkusa/pseuds/kerkusa). 



> For this fic, I was given a partially redacted artwork by kerkusa, and instructed to draw my prompt from whatever caught my attention.
> 
> MOST of the image seemed clear. The park. The two fuzzy but Ineffable shapes, standing close enough to hold hands. But what REALLY drew my eye was the white fuzzy spot in the corner that I couldn't quite make out. Was it a football? A bed of flowers? One thing it almost certainly was not, was a large angry swan determined to interrupt their walk and chomp Crowley's leg.
> 
> So that's what I wrote about.
> 
> After I completed the story, it was partially redacted and passed along to another creator, who wrote their own work, and so on down a chain of 10 writers and artists, including myself. This series contains all the works in this chain.

Snowfeather watched, tense and waiting, as the beings approached. They walked on two legs, had long featherless wings, but were  _ not _ humans. And they were coming far, far too close to the spot he guarded.

He’d seen them at the pond before, tossing food to ducks and geese. Snowfeather indulged sometimes, wary of the beings but intrigued by their oats and grapes. Today, all kindnesses were forgotten. Today, he stood ready to fight.

“You spoil the little beggars,” the dark being said, one wing dangling in the space between them.

“Nonsense.” The pale one’s own wing brushed against its mate’s. “A little treat now and again never hurt anyone.”

Ruffling his feathers, Snowfeather stretched his neck until he stood nearly as tall as the dark figure. But they ignored him, still walking down the path. He hissed, loud and sharp, raising his wings.

“You’re gonna wind up with fat ducks.”

“Is there anything wrong with that?”

All warnings failed, Snowfeather advanced, leaving the bench he guarded, eyes locked on the figures.

“You’re the indulgence expert. You tell me.”

Too close. Snowfeather charged, flapping his wings, catching the dark one’s leg.

The figure immediately drew itself taller, suddenly revealing angry yellow eyes. “Sssssssss,” it hissed, stepping in front of its mate. “Back off. You don’t know who you’re threatening.”

Any other day, Snowfeather would have retreated. But he could hear his mate, Nightsky, mournfully fluting by the bench, and that pressed him on. Again, he charged the dark figure, pushing himself up higher to slap it in the thigh, then the arm.

The dark figure tried to hit back with its pathetic, undersized wings; Snowfeather simply snapped at them, feeling a bit of skin and bone pinched in his beak. That seemed to do the trick; the figure stumbled back, crouching behind its mate.

“Ah, for Sssomeone’s – what’s wrong with this bird? It’s a menace!”

“Crowley, it’s hardly his fault.  _ You _ threatened  _ him.” _ Snowfeather returned to his defensive stance, wings wide, blocking the path.

“That feathered creep started it!” A strange foot – scaled like a snake, pointed at the end – lashed out towards Snowfeather’s beak. “Shoo! I won’t tell you—”

Fast as lightning, Snowfeather bit the foot, feeling it wriggle and twist in his beak.

“Arg!” The dark figure pulled itself free, clutching at its mate. “Bastard nearly took my toe off!”

“That  _ is _ why you should wear  _ actual _ shoes.”

“This – this  _ beast _ is trying to discorporate me, and you’re just standing there!”

“You know perfectly well, swans are protected by the queen. My hands are tied.” Somehow, the bony feathers at the end of their wings had gotten all tangled up together. The pale figure seemed to squeeze its mate’s wing, but in a comforting way. “Poor fellow looks quite distressed.”

_ “I’m  _ distressed…”

“Yes, dear.” It stepped forward, tilting its head to study Snowfeather. “Is something the matter, my friend?” Snowfeather hissed and snapped at its face.

“Aziraphale, don’t bother—”

“Hush! Do you hear that?” The pale figure’s eyes drifted to where Nightsky crouched, hooting softly, trying to calm the terrified squeaks from under the bench.

“Crowley, be a dear and keep our friend diverted.”

“What? Angel, you can’t be—”

“Yes, I am.”

The pale figure separated from its mate, circling around Snowfeather. He watched it warily, hissing a warning in case it moved toward the bench.

So he didn’t see the dark figure lashing out, until it somehow struck his beak.

He rushed it, pummeling and slapping and biting the creature, a flurry of white feathers filling the air. The dark figure howled and twisted and flailed, but Snowfeather  _ would not _ back down.

That is, not until he heard Nightsky’s urgent cry. The pale figure was now just in front of the bench, crouching, wings reaching underneath.

Nightsky charged, black wings a blur, brilliant red beak snapping. Snowfeather turned to help, but the dark figure attacked him, grabbing a wing. With a snort of rage, he struck the creature in every vulnerable spot he knew on a human body. Most seemed to work.

But he couldn’t afford the delay – Nightsky howled, and the terrified peeps grew frantic. With one last sweep of his wing, knocking the dark figure to the ground, he charged to strike the pale figure again and again. “Kindly – let me – work!” Despite the onslaught its strange wings continued to explore the forbidden area under the bench. “It’s – going – to be – fine!”

Snowfeather snapped the soft protrusion at the side of the creature’s head, but lost his grip immediately as the creature’s mate flung itself at him, knocking him to the ground.

He snorted, hissed, twisted, trying to escape the serpentine grip. They couldn’t stop him! His only job was to protect—

“There! I have her! She’s out!”

The pale figure surged upwards, strange wings cradling Silverdown, the cygnet now free of the metal twist in the bench that had trapped her. The creature stroked her neck with bony feathers. “No harm done. She’s perfectly fine, just a little frightened.”

Nightsky didn’t believe it. He stepped forward, swatting the pale figure with his mighty wings, but the creature ignored the assault, calmly placing Silverdown on the grass. She rushed forward, Nightsky nudging her with his beak, herding her to safety.

The dark figure released Snowfeather. “There. We were  _ helping, _ you brainless—”

He bit down hard on the creature’s wing, sending it stumbling away, before hurrying after his family. The beautiful black swan he loved was unharmed, and their precious baby, the only hatchling to survive from the nest they’d rescued, huddled safely under his wing. Nightsky hooted his relief, and together they waddled to the pond.

“Ungrateful bastard,” grumbled a voice behind them. Snowfeather turned to see the two creatures. They looked disheveled now, their wings around each other, heads resting together.

“Hush, dear. He was worried for his child. Imagine what I would do if Adam or Warlock were in danger.”

“Heh. The world would tremble.” The dark creature pressed its face to its mate’s head. “Proud of you. Now let’s get you home, Angel.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is my third and final Telephone fic, and I had a lot of fun with it. I have to apologize to the rest of Group A. I knew perfectly well there was no chance this was the original prompt, but I ran with it anyway. Take a look at their other stories and see what they've produced!
> 
> I have no intention of expanding this fic, but I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know in a comment if you liked it. 
> 
> Head over to [DoItWithStyleEvents](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doitwithstyleevents/series) to browse about a hundred fics and artists from this event!
> 
> For those curious: Swan Facts!
> 
> Snowfeather is a Mute Swan, the most well-known species of white swan (the ones with the bright bill and the black mask around their eyes). Strictly speaking, the Queen owns all unmarked (ie not claimed by anyone else) mute swans in open water in the UK, and no one can legally hunt these swans (except a certain group of scholars in Cambridge, for no clear reason). Functionally, the crown only exercises protection over swans that live on the Thames and its tributaries.
> 
> Nightsky is a black swan, native to Australia, and yes they do have bright red bills! Also, up to a quarter of all male black swans are "gay," or rather, pairbond with other male swans. Gay in quotes because for at least some, "bisexual" may be a more accurate term! (Seriously, look into them, it's really fascinating.) Male black swan pairs do raise offspring together (often by stealing nests!) and their children have a high rate of survival, possibly because they are such fierce protectors. Black swans do not commonly mate with mute swans because they live in different parts of the world, but it does happen.
> 
> Silverdown is a baby swan. Rescuing abandoned eggs and nests is behavior seen in among male bonded pairs in several bird species, most notably certain types of penguin. Silverdown is perfectly fine now, and happy to be back with her dads.
> 
> Despite persistent rumors, swans cannot break the arm of healthy adult humans. They can pinch and bruise quite badly, but they can't match us for strength. Swans know this, and will usually back down if challenged by a larger animal. Unless their nest or babies are in danger, then they fight like only swans can.
> 
> This fic was partly inspired by a video sent to me by Sosser86 of a baby swan whose head was stuck in a fence, and angry parent swan smacking around the baby's rescuer, and by a gleeful follow-up discussion about gay swans.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [a pair of odd ducks](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26669101) by [jenna221b](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenna221b/pseuds/jenna221b)




End file.
